oh, so when tumblr feminists embroider swear words and occult symbols onto things, it’s “subversive” and “edgy,” but when I do it, I’m a “terrible surgeon” whose being “sued for malpractice.”
my brain: there is literaly a 0 percent chance the fictional shit from creepy games will show up irl in your kitchen
me: but its dark and scary
Sex on the Beach
And Finally, Swimming Pool
"No officer, for the last time, I did not smoke weed. Thats just my new perfume, cannabis flower"
underpaid bowling alley employees should go on strike
i dont care what you say there is nothing more stressful than wanting to have a conversation with someone but having absolutely NOTHING to say
if jesus takes a shit is it a holy shit then???
i love birthdays they’re so motivational like if i can manage to keep myself alive for another year ill get money and cake